In a relationship, things are usually pretty equal – or we aim for them to be, at least. But when it comes down to getting hot and heavy, things aren’t quite so equal when we rack up orgasms.
While the figures do differ across casual sexual encounters and long term relationships, there is still a significant difference between those hitting the big O. But why?
Well, don’t just take our word for it. Research has shown that the “orgasm gap” is very much real, with researchers taking a closer look at sexual orientation, too.
So, let’s take a look at the facts available. In the study, published in the Journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, more than 52,000 adults participated, between the ages of 18 to 65. These were split as per below:
- Around 26,000 identified as heterosexual men
- 542 gay men
- 550 bisexual men
- Over 24,000 identified as heterosexual women
- 340 lesbian women
- 1,112 bisexual women
During the research, scientists asked the participants how often their partner and themselves achieved an orgasm in the past month – during sexual activity. This later delved into oral sex and the length of their sex sessions.
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But what was the conclusion? Well, it was pretty clear, men are more likely to achieve orgasm compared to women. Crazy, right? But let’s get specific – 95% of heterosexual men in the study reported that they usually, through to always reached orgasm during sexual activity.
So what’s the deal with the “orgasm gap”?
When it comes to who experiences the most orgasms, the type of relationship and sexual encounter plays an important role. During a committed relationship, the orgasm ‘gap’ starts to reduce. However, during a steamy one-night-fling, the gap widens.
The studies so far have suggested that women in sexual encounters with men reach orgasm far less than their male partner – this shows that knowing your way around the bedroom matters. And strong oral sex skills, of course.
Many men achieve orgasm quite quickly, but the purpose of sex isn’t to race to the finishing line. If you’re noticing that your stamina isn’t quite up to the job, spend some time pleasuring your partner in other ways. Enjoy the process!
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How sexual satisfaction differs
Sex is different for everybody, which can make sexual satisfaction somewhat subjective. That being said, studies have noticed these orgasm differences for good reason. The usual argument is associated with a man’s link between orgasm result in ejaculation.
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However, if we focus on the facts for a second, it’s clear to see that heterosexual men may not be doing enough (sorry, guys)… Let’s see how the stats look in relation to orgasms and sexual orientation:
- 95% of heterosexual men report usually/always reaching orgasm
- 89% of gay men reported the same
- 88% for bisexual men
- 86% of lesbians
- 66% bisexual women
- 65% of heterosexual women
The study suggests that its heterosexual female participants who reported greater chances of orgasm also received oral sex, had sexual encounters that lasted a lengthier period of time and were happier in their relationship.
It also showed that the percentage of lesbian women reaching orgasm could be the result of women simply knowing what a woman likes.
Come on guys, time to step up.
So, why are women missing out on the big O?
I’m going to be brutally honest here, guys, it’s down to your performance in the bedroom. There’s no other way to say it. Instead of rushing to finish, spend some time on foreplay and oral sex.
Also, while we’re on the topic, penetrative sex isn’t the only thing you can be doing. Many women don’t orgam through penetration, so it’s time to mix things up and close the orgasm gap for good.
The fact that lesbian women reach orgasm more frequently shows that heterosexual women could (and should) be experiencing higher rates of orgasm.
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