Many of us want to have more sex. But how much sex is really considered ‘healthy’ or ‘normal’? The point is, there is no right or wrong answer to this million-dollar question. After all, there are many factors that affect how often you jump into bed together.
But if you are worried as to whether you’re having enough, then you are in the right place. Let’s see…
Benefits of sex: what are they?
There are a whole bunch of benefits that come with having sex on a regular basis. Not only does it create a stronger bond between you and your significant other, but sex also offers many other health benefits, including but not limited to:
- Improved mood and energy
- Lowered blood pressure
- Reduced risk of heart disease
- Better sleep
- Less anxious and stressed
- Improved bladder control in women (potentially)
- Reduced risk of prostate cancer (potentially)
While these benefits are certainly good, it does not mean more sex can improve your health. It also doesn’t mean no or less sex can make you less healthy.
In fact, sex is just one of many things that can affect your health. But the study does show that regular sex can be good for the mind and body. The “right” amount of sex doesn’t really exist because it can vary greatly depending on many factors from one person to a couple.
Sex: how often?
More often than not, it’s those that are single who tend to have more sex than those in a relationship. Research has shown that on average, couples have sex once a week.
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Something that plays a huge role in our sex lives is our sex hormone levels. Our age can also decrease or increase the number of times we’re jumping in the sack. But, it does greatly depend on how high (or sometimes low) sex hormone levels are.
Based on one study in 2017 that looks at the behavioural data of American adults from 1989 to 2014:
- On average, people in their 20s have sex 80 times a year (approx once every five days)
- On average, people in their 60s have sex 20 times a year (approx once every 18 days)
Where we see our sex lives decline the most is typically in our 50s. In saying this, there are various factors that contribute towards an up-down sex life, including:
- Not watching porn
- Starting a family/having children
Believe me, this does not mean that getting older automatically means less sex or no sex at all. The same as it doesn’t mean younger people are having lots of sex.
In fact, research has shown that people born in the 1940s and 1950s have more sex than those in their 20s and 30s compared to today’s millennials.
Sex and relationships
If you are having yourselves a steamy session several nights a week, or you’re more of a two a week couple, less sex does not mean that your relationship is not good. But, sex has been proven to play an important role in a relationship, for many reasons.
Studies by Harvard University reported that 90% of women and men felt that a ‘good relationship is important to their quality of life’. Interestingly, however, half of these also said that even though sex is pleasurable, it is not a necessary part of a good relationship.
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Although, another study found that 50% of heterosexual couples were happy with their sex lives and the amount of sex they were having. It generally seemed that these couples had a more positive outlook on their relationship too.
Whilst alternatively, most of the dissatisfied men stated they didn’t have enough sex, with these negate feelings showing how they felt about their relationship. However, when it came to the female participants, only 2/3 of them felt the same sense of dissatisfaction.
What can reduce sex drive?
It’s so easy for us to get caught up with the stress of work, family life and everything in between. In turn, this can greatly affect our sexual motivation and therefore our sexual activity.
Mental health problems, such as anxiety and depression can easily distract us and make relaxing difficult and therefore not have a positive effect on the body. Feeling good about yourself can contribute to a healthy sex life and relationships.
A healthy diet and regular exercise play an important role in healthy libido and sexual activity. This is because of the way it affects heart health and blood circulation.
There are many factors that can affect sex drive. After some surveys, these were the results:
Stress and anxiety
- 122 men
- 369 women
Work
- 47 men
- 123 women
Family
- 50 men
- 184 women
Eating/Food habits
- 111 men
- 46 women
Exercise
- 21 men
- 40 women
Has Coronavirus had an impact on our sex lives?
With the impact of the rules, restrictions and lockdowns, studies have shown that 32% of men and 25% of women were having less sex.
However, a hearty 59% of both men and women stated that there was no impact on their sex lives. Although it’s worth pointing out that the majority of these people may be single or not living with their partner.
Our attitude around sex
When it comes to sex we have all had different experiences, this includes our outlook and attitude towards sex itself. During some research, it was clear that men are the ones to tend to become more distressed if they’re not satisfied with the amount or quality of sex they’re having.
One study showed that women found satisfaction more important than quantity, whilst men are more likely to link their sexual frustrations to their relationship.
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Additionally, research showed that men and women view sexual satisfaction differently. Whilst women connect it with intimacy the length of their relationship with their partner, men associate it with performance and their ability to satisfy their partner to orgasm.
Our conclusion
How often we have sex starts to decline pretty quickly after we turn 50. We have sex more when we’re younger and on average, couples in the US have sex once a week. People who are single and those without children tend to have more sex than those with partners and families.
Although, this may not reflect the true joy of the relationship. What can be, however, the result is sexual dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with your sex life as a man is usually related to the amount and quality of sex. Women, on the other hand, always build the link between sexual satisfaction and intimacy and the duration of the relationship.
So the question is, how can you overcome sexual dissatisfaction? Easy – it’s all about communication.
The problem with sexual satisfaction is that there is a close connection between satisfaction and frequency, meaning that if you’re unable to satisfy each other, the frequency can decrease, how old you are is irrelevant.
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